HOW TO HYPE A SWELL!!!

As you could guess some east coasters get a bit excited when there is swell on the horizon. And reasonably so, because it can be long, hard gaps between opportunities to surf.
I often get a good laugh at some posts I see on FB etc…but when I asked my buddy Joel Feid if he would do a piece on overhyping swell for my blog I had no idea how hard I would actually be laughing. I’m still not fully convinced he didn’t already have it typed up ready to go because he had it to me in 30 minutes flat! Haha.
If you’ve never been to New England a Quebec license plate is as good as an Arizona plate with a touch of Front B.C. added in the mix!
Poor Joel is locked in an office like most 5 days a week but shreds harder than most people around town, so enjoy his lovingly jaded piece like I did!!

Here’s a picture of Joel. Obviously from a Saturday or Sunday swell lol.

Photo: Brian Sullivan

When Ryan asked me to do a forecast piece, I said “what the schnell”?!! Our Facebook friends were so accurate for Leslie, where could my insight possibly be useful?! Here are some fool proof steps to ensure you’ll score the best waves with the least amount of people:

– Accept all Facebook friend requests (whether you know them or not)
– Then take all their forecasts/predictions seriously (especially beginners, weekend diehards and SUPers)
– Don’t check Surfline, Wunderground, NOAA or any forecasting sites. Why waste your time? FB people have swells predicted before dust is even leaving the African coast.
– Weather patterns never change so that big blob you see on the 180 hour forecast is bound to happen! Plan your spot weeks in advance (“Man, did you see the 180 hour? Spot X is going to be so sick in two Tuesdays at 10:47”.)
– Be prepared. It might be flat today but make sure you keep that 9’0” BIC strapped to your roof at all times. Chicks dig surfers and that big stick is screaming local pro.
– Don’t go to the beach to check the surf. Webcams give an accurate depiction of all spots.
– If you must go to the beach to see for yourself – find the Quebec plates. They’re the best around and have been scoring the secret spots for years. The boardshorts over the wetsuit should have already given that away.
– Also – believe every story you hear. No one ever exaggerates!
– Finally – update FB, Instagram and Twitter with your location. A photo would be even more helpful. That’s the best crowd control around.
– Repeat for all hurricanes, nor’easters, windswells and random farts in the bathtub…

Joel checking in with one of his close Facebook friends

Photo: Matt Berkowitz

Photo: Matt Berkowitz